An avoidant will often distance themselves if they feel they are losing your interest. This is a fear-based response to their anxiety of abandonment as they struggle with feeling insecure from inside out. They may ask for space and then pull back a few days later. Repeating this cycle can be exhausting, especially if you’re the one who’s chasing them. It can also lead to an unhealthy relationship, which is why it’s best to stop pursuing them when they tell you to.
When you stop chasing an avoidant, they will likely feel relieved at first, especially if you’ve been contacting them frequently. Any type of communication that they don’t initiate is considered a form of chasing because they are unable to trust their own emotions, much less anyone else’s. This will give them a chance to take some time for themselves and relax in their own company without feeling anxious or having a sense of urgency.
Once you walk away, an avoidant will be forced to reevaluate their relationship with you. If they still care for you, then they will likely return your affection and attempt to repair the relationship. However, if they realize they are not interested in you anymore, then they will slowly fade out or even leave the relationship entirely.
It will be difficult for you to continue putting in effort to a relationship that the avoidant does not want to have. It is not healthy for either of you and you will only get hurt in the end. When you stop chasing an avoidant, you can focus your energy on finding someone who is willing to work on the relationship with you and is worth your time.