Dom and sub are two roles commonly associated with BDSM, a kinky sexual experience that involves dominant and submissive play (dom/sub, rough sex, roleplay). Most men and women fantasize about being a top and a sub at one point or another.
Doms are in charge of their D/s partner, dictating what they will and won’t do, and setting the scene for the experience. They typically set sexy rules and punishments, including spanking, edging and chastity, as well as bondage and sadomasochism. These rules and punishments are based on the participants’ mutual consent to a primarily consensual power dynamic that either party can end at any time with the use of a safe word.
Getting started as a dom isn’t easy, but it can be rewarding for both parties. It’s essential to make a commitment to clear and consistent communication. A dom must be open to criticism and honest feedback, even when it hurts. This will enable him to learn from his mistakes and improve.
It’s also important to ask what a person wants from a D/s relationship. Some people want to be dominated only in sex, some only at home, and others are ok with an unequal power dynamic 24 hours a day. This information can help a dom know what to expect from a sub, and it will help the sub understand what kind of play they want in the bedroom. For example, some like to be choked, slapped or stepped on, while others want a more gentle choking that doesn’t cause psychological harm.