Being in a toxic relationship is incredibly tough. Getting out of one can almost seem tougher. Sometimes the enemy you know is better than the one you don’t. It can seem like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It becomes easier to stay. Finding peace after a toxic relationship is what everyone who leaves hopes to do. Toxic relationships come in all forms. From romantic relationships, to family, friends, and even work. Everyone’s journey is different. From first realizing you are in a toxic relationship, to preparing to take the steps to leave. Furthermore, and even more important, realizing how you got there in the first place, as not to repeat the same patterns. In this article you can learn some steps to help find your own peace, after finally getting out of a toxic relationship.
Rediscover Who You Are
It’s easy and common to lose yourself in a partner. Toxic or not. It starts off small, with starting to like the same food or music. Then before you know it, your political and personal thoughts are so entwined you don’t even know your own thoughts from theirs. It’s a subtle change. Hard to notice or to pinpoint the moment it happened. Additionally, when you leave a toxic relationship, it is important to take time on your own. Away from influences of other people. Even with the best intentions, friends and family also tend to influence our decisions. Especially if they didn’t like your partner to begin with. It’s important to rediscover who you are, what you like and don’t like, and what your boundaries are. This can be done through therapy, journaling, and even meditation. Furthermore, sometimes just sitting quietly with your own thoughts is the best medicine.
Breaking Bad Patterns
The thing about a toxic relationship, you might not realize you are in one. If you had the option to enter one, you wouldn’t take it. We go into relationships with the best of intentions. The tools that we learn as kids help us navigate this. Whether it's tools we learn from our parents, our siblings, our bosses, or even our past relationships. This is why it can be hard to notice you’re in a toxic relationship. The tools that brought you to it are the ones you’ve always used. Leaving is the first step. And arguably the hardest step. However, without realizing how and why you got into a toxic relationship, and stayed, is also crucial. Otherwise you will yourself in another one. Knowing your worth, and being able to tell the warning signs early on is something that will benefit you in every future aspect of your life.
Being Your Number One
There is something so freeing about being on your own. Being alone can at one point scare us. However, being alone after ending a toxic relationship can be a blessing. You are able to focus all of your attention on yourself. Which to some may seem selfish. However, it is really important if it’s something that you have never done before. Putting your energy into making your life better, and making yourself happy, is a great thing. You chose your friends, your weekend activities, the shows to stream, what to eat for dinner, etc.. You learn exactly what you want out of life, what you need, and what you will compromise for. When you love yourself, and really understand yourself, you will be ready to have a healthy relationship. With anyone in your life, not just a romantic partner.
Conclusion: Finding Peace After A Toxic Relationship
Finding peace after a toxic relationship is a beautiful thing. And it is possible. Coming to terms with the fact that you are in one is the first step. The next one is realizing that you deserve better. Having a good support system around you is also very helpful. Once you leave, there may be times that you want to fall back into it. Surely there were good moments, right? It wasn’t all bad, right? There’s a reason why you found this article in the first place. You’re not alone. The peace that you will have in your life once you leave any type of toxic relationship, far outweighs all the little moments of joy that you may or may not have experienced in the relationship. And remember, was it your joy, or was it theirs?
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